Time flies

Based on the title above. This post will be a bit heart breaking. 

you'll wonder why?

what happen?

what's up?

Yeah, its a normal people's feeling where as they'll miss school when its over. Same goes to me. School. The place I spent half of my life there. I'm 18. I spent 12 years in school. Starting from kindergarten, to primary and finished school life at secondary. 

My school life maybe was not amazing as other. But still, my high school life is the best. My schoolmates were all the best. The best of friends i ever had. Seriously, you should really enjoy your school life. Cause you're definitely going to miss it when you're in college life. In college. You are going to have to do everything by your own. Nobody are going to help you unless yourself. You have to finished your assignment by your own. Do your own research and so on. 

Its cool though being in college cause you'll know the feeling how to appreciate something. You know how to value your time. You know how much you need your sleep. You know how awesome it is to be at home and waking up everyday to you mom's cooking. Got to see your family everytime. You'll learn to be independent by your own. Even I'm 18, this is my first time in life I'm away from family.

School.

The place you'll think the teacher is not cool at all. The place where you feel like hell. The place where you hate the discipline teacher. The place where you think the teacher are torturing you by giving a lot of homeworks. The place where you can skip class when ever you want. The place where the canteen food aren't delicious at all. 

BUT

Think twice. Its the place since you were little girl or little boy still not having their puberty yet. Till you are big enough to think what's good and what's not. You learn so much in school. You even learn how to respect people. How to respect someone older than you. 

The thing i miss the most in school is the Graduation Day and my last day at school. I miss all of them. I never want to end school life. But this is life. Life must go on. Move foward and never look back. Memories in school will be forever stored. Deep inside. 

So, that's the bit of stories about my school life. If time can be rewind. I want my high school life back. Everything in school back. I miss you guys Bestarian and Ehsanian. May we all be successful one day. This is not the end of our life. In fact, its just the beginning of the new world we are going to face. Its a new life. Be new. You may failed in your school life, but that doesn't mean that we are still going to fail till the end. Hardwork is the key to everything. Attitude is the most important role. Act. Be positive and ignore all the negative thoughts. Cause that thing are not going to give you anything. Its going to motivate yourself. Pray. Allah knows the best. Allah is always there. Allah is there to listen to everything. InsyaAllah. The final day, the happiness will come one day. 

The Day To Remember

This is life. Everything come and go. 

Have you ever felt lost? Lost in your own world? This is how I felt. I already started my college about 3 weeks. But, on the 2nd week of learning. I lost my grandfather. You'll never know the feeling how to accept the fact that someone you really love. Someone who took care of you. Someone who were there when you were baby until now you're in a college. Someone who always gave everything you want. 

Maybe for some people, they'll say "do i even care" "come on, its just grandfather, not your father"

But I care. Even he was just my grandfather. But I still consider him the best. He's the KING to our family. Okay here we go.  On the 2nd week of college. I got call from my father, telling me that I should get back home cause my grandfather's condition is getting worse! That time I was in class. After class I rushed back to room and started to pack. I told my housemates that I'm going back today. Luckily, in this world, I still have an understanding housemates. When my father reached college. I rushed back to hospital. That time he was in ' CCU Hospital Serdang'. My father told me to be strong whatever happens. When i reached hospital, i rushed to CCU. Bed 6. When i saw him. I started to cry. Oh my god, that time. Only I know how it felt to see the one so active, the one that always laugh before this. Lay down on that bed. Not moving. Unconcious. That time, my heart broke to pieces. I saw the heart rate. Basically, my late grandfather was only depending his life on the life support only.

I hold. I hold. I hold

I can't hold it anymore saw him like that in front of me. I was drowning into tears that time. So, i stepped out from the room. That time it was already evening. So, my father said that i should go back home with my mom. Get full rest and tomorrow come here again. I refused!! I said that I want to be with him. I beg my father. My grandmother saw that. She cried saw me like that. Lastly, I give in. I went back home. I can't even sleep well that night. The next day, which is Thursday. Woke up in the morning with my favourite mum's cooking. Help mum with some house chores and we went to the hospital around noon. The traffic was so bad! Oh My God! Like seriously though. When we reached there. Like usual, its visiting hour so we went upstairs to CCU. I saw, everyone were not there. So we rushed to the room. The guard was a bit angry cause visiting to room only allow 2 people per visit. Same goes to ICU. All of us went inside. When the doors opened... I saw my grandmother, my 2 aunty's, my uncle were in front of the room CRYING. The curtain in the room was closed. I saw the doctor inside. My heart says "this is it". Taking a deep breath that time was only hoping for a miracle to happen. 

The doctor came out.. With the sad face. Calling us to the room. I still remember the doctor says "his heart stopped beating. I'm sorry" The feeling that time only God knows. It felt like everything in movies were true! The expression. The feelings. The tears. I cried like hell. This time i can't stand on it anymore. I had to accept the facts that my grandfather won't be here anymore. Yes! ANYMORE! I'll miss him.

The historical day and date. 

Thursday 27th June 2013.

My late grandfather. He's truely a hero. 

13 August 1928 - 27 June 2013.

Rest in peace granpa. Wait for us there.

I'm here missing you, missing those days with you and still trying to accept the facts that you're not her anymore. You may not here. But you'll always be in our heart.

 Al- Fatihah.

the meaning.

this song reminds me of something and someone. 

the best song from Neyo. 

He has such great voice! Thank you for making me fall in love with your song. 

Part of The List by Neyo

Style of your hair

Shape of your eyes and your nose

The way you stare

As if you see, right through to my soul

It's your left hand and the way

That it's not quite as big as your right

The way you stand in the mirror

Before we go out at night

Our quiet time

Your beautiful mind

They're all part of the list, things that I miss

Things like your funny little laugh

Or the way you smile, or the way we kiss

What I noticed is this

I come up with something new

Every single time that I sit and reminisce

The way your sweet smell

Lingers when you leave a room

Stories you tell as we lay in bed all afternoon

I dreamed you now every night

In my mind is where we meet

And when I'm awake staring at pictures of you asleep

Touching your face

Invading you space

They're all part of the list, things that I miss

Things like your funny little laugh

Or the way you smile, or the way we kiss

What I noticed is this

I come up with something new

Every single time that I sit and reminisce

And you live in my memories

Forever more I swear

And you live in my memories

Forever more I swear

They're all part of the list, things that I miss

Things like your funny little laugh

Or the way you smile, or the way we kiss

What I noticed is this

I come up with something new

Every single time that I sit and reminisce